The Remedy Files: Illusion Page 7

  The little Gavin has said about his own community makes me wonder just how different we are. He pokes fun at Impetus’ rules and way of life but he doesn’t say anything about what the alternative would be. Up until our earlier conversation, I simply have never thought much about him having his own separate community. Even though Gavin has always been outside of Impetus walls, he has always felt to me as though he was inside. Every day he was there when I knew he would be in the same spot for almost twelve years.

  Impetus was founded upon consistencies and predictability for a safe and secure life. I was already used to that but there is something special about me creating my own consistency with choosing to add Gavin as a part of my world and forming my own habitual trek to see him every day. Although still predictable, it is much more special because it was the first choice I ever made on my own.

  In that thought, Gavin’s comment earlier about choices becomes slightly clearer. I did make a choice once before that affected my life. After I met Gavin, I chose to risk the consequences of continuing to see him. I made the decision that I wanted Gavin in my life so I made that exact thing happen. We are supposed to entrust all of our choices to be in the hands of Impetus, but if I did that and followed the rules, Gavin would have been a vague memory instead of such an imperative part of who I am today.

  The question he asked is, what else do I want? Even though I understand a little better what Gavin was suggesting, I still can’t answer that question. The decision to choose Gavin came without much of a thought. Every single day it’s an innate act that I do- almost like blinking. If I don’t do it, my body isn’t operating as it should. Logic. I don’t know how else to better describe it. I don’t even know if it is more than what it is. It just is. That’s what he is to me. I wish what I wanted for my future was as clear.

  I think back to our conversations over the years. Every time I ask Gavin what he’s doing out in the woods, he says “research for his community.” So is that his official job? Or yet, is that his contribution to his community that he does on the side as part of being in a pairing? He never did say no when I asked him about his pairing. He never denied having someone else that he talks to just as much as me. Another woman who his community deemed as being the perfect match for him and who is there when he knows she will be every morning and every night. Why was this such a foreign thought to me? Why did I want to force it out of my mind so badly?

  I catch myself sighing out loud as I near the Events & Announcements Stage. There are several Level 17 classmates playing on it, acting out a movie it seems. Since we were the only class that had its Dig today, everyone else was still in school. I see Caroline’s red hair flapping in the wind in her usual highly set ponytail. Of course she’s center stage as always, no doubt seeking out everyone’s attention that walks by. Since people give it to her, she never changes.

  I should have taken a different route. My mind was so consumed by Gavin that I forgot Caroline was here earlier. Since Caroline is hardly ever without Adeline, I’m sure she has to be here now too. Adeline has always openly been Caroline’s number one biggest fan. I’ve never understood it but I suppose it’s like me and Jacqueline. We’re just a lot more independent from each other and I’d say much nicer to others as well.

  As I get a better angle of the stage, my suspicions are confirmed. There’s Adeline, chatting in the corner with Joline and Bryan. All of their eyes are on Caroline as she performs a solo act, dramatically flailing her arms and twirling about a bit too much. On one of the benches before the stage were three additional classmates: Damian, Brennan, and Ethan.

  Oh no. Jacqueline cannot see Ethan watching Caroline. With being so close to the Futures Ceremony, she wouldn’t be able to risk his match with Caroline instead. They are both equally beautiful, intelligent, and logical so I could see Impetus taking that decision either way. Of course Jacqueline was much kinder than Caroline but the Community Board didn’t always see things from our viewpoints. Caroline knew how to act when no one else was watching.

  I suppose I could always tell the Board that Caroline asked me a banned question earlier which I’m sure would lessen her chances to get paired with someone like Ethan. Regrettably as Caroline pointed out, I don’t have it in me to report someone. Especially when I know I break some of the most important rules as it is. Of course she doesn’t know that part of my reasoning, though.

  I have no clue what I’m going to say to him, but I know I need to do something before any Community Board members walk by. “Hey, Ethan!” I call to get his attention, hoping that maybe we can get some game going with others in the Level or basically do anything else whatsoever other than have him watch Caroline.

  As soon as the words left my mouth, I watch the looks on the bench change as each guy’s eyes widen and their mouths open. Ethan and Brennan launch out of the bench. As soon as it registers that their attention isn’t on me, my ears catch the sound of the scream. I look over just in time to see Caroline land awkwardly on the ground in front of the stage. It had to have been at least an eight foot fall. All elevated structures that have walkways have to remain at a respectable height to not affect Remedy levels. Typically the max is nine feet so I would assume the stage is slightly lower to not risk anyone’s individual levels.

  “Caroline, can you get up? Are you able to walk?” I hear Brennan ask as I run over.

  “It’s all her fault!” Caroline shrieks while pointing her finger at me.

  Adeline and Joline run to the edge of the stage, high pitched voices yelling out a mix of “help!” and “oh Caroline!”

  Brennan and Ethan dip down, each grabbing one of Caroline’s arms and try to hoist her up.

  “Guys- wait! Don’t touch her yet!” I yell out to warn them but it was too late.

  As soon as they put Caroline’s weight on her legs again, a loud crack echoes in the air. I watch as a large bone suddenly juts out through her skin right under her left knee.

  All at once, several monitors begin beeping and more screams for help arise from all different directions. I immediately spring into professional mode, putting my years of training into use. I command Damian to go get the emergency cart so he takes off in a sprint. I demand that Bryan follow Damian and use the emergency Remedy dispenser for seven additional pills.

  I rip off the right sleeve of Brennan’s shirt. “Hey!” He objects.

  When I glare at him, he doesn’t push it any further. Tearing the sleeve in half, I kneel down to pull the bone back into Caroline’s leg with the use of the wrap and tie it tightly around her leg.

  “Stop screaming!” I shout back to Joline and Adeline who immediately close their mouths. They have never before heard me use any tone above the normal. No one has. I barely talk at all to them let alone yell at anyone.

  Within a few minutes, Damian and Bryan come back, pulling the emergency cart behind them. I help Bryan distribute the Remedy pills to everyone with Caroline being the first. Luckily we’ve all been so used to taking them our entire lives that we don’t usually need anything to wash them down.

  “Pick her up and put her in the back of the cart carefully.” I command Brennan and Ethan.

  Together they lift her up and lie her down in the cart on her back. I swear I see what looks like a hidden smile on Caroline’s face. She’s actually enjoying all of this attention.

  They take the handles to pull the cart in the direction of the Clinic. I stop them, noticing they aren’t doing it smoothly which can jeopardize other injuries if there are any.

  Firmly I say, “Off, guys. I’ve got it from here.” I take a hold of the handles and pull Caroline to the Clinic instead. What took two men to do, I’m able to do on my own.

  “You guys can all follow, though!” Caroline yells from the cart. Directing her next comment towards me, she says, “Besides, someone needs to protect me so this monster doesn’t hurt me again.”

  An image of me turning the cart over and letting Caroline fall hard to the ground flashes through my mind.
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  Before I can say anything in return, Adeline comes running up alongside of us. “I’m here, Caroline! I won’t leave your side!”

  CHAPTER 10

  At school the next day, there were already stories of Caroline’s “terrible fall and how amazing she was to survive something so horrifying”. Everyone knew I was an eyewitness so they made many of these comments around me, knowing they couldn’t ask for details, but hoping I would share. I would simply nod while looking down, refusing to provide more information. By the afternoon, I am pretty sure I heard several people say I was involved with the fall more than being an eye witness. No doubt Adeline was adding her own comments in a way that accused me of having more of a direct hand in Caroline’s injury.

  Jacqueline was the only one I told the entire story to while we were at the office last night. Caroline became an overnight patient at the Clinic and since Jacqueline and I were both on the evening shift, Jacqueline found out about the details early. I gave her the majority of the story, purposely leaving out the part where Ethan was there and I called out his name to distract him from Caroline. Hopefully that detail will stay out of everyone else’s version as well.

  When I finished telling Jacqueline the story, she chuckled. “I really want to say she gets what she deserves but I suppose that wouldn’t be professional considering we are currently taking care of her, huh?”

  “We’ll keep that between you and me.” I laugh and wink.

  After the Doctor did his checks and left her room, Caroline fell right asleep so luckily neither Jacqueline nor I had to talk to her. I’m sure she would have just screamed at me even more, blaming the incident on my actions versus her own. I was happy to get out of there and for the night staff to take over just in case she woke up.

  As I am leaving the Level 14-17 building to go meet Gavin, I pass a couple of Level 15 girls who are whispering in the hall. A shorter one, with chubby cheeks and her hair tied back in a bun, grabs my arm and says, “I would have aimed for her nose if I were you.” The girl next to her has an extremely serious look on her face, and nods energetically in agreement. Apparently more people saw through Jacqueline than I thought. I simply shoot them a tilted smile as I walk out the door.

  After all of the events from last night, I haven’t had much of a chance to dissect my conversation with Gavin more. I can’t quite imagine how today with him will go after yesterday. We’ve never before had such a bad talk. In my mind, I sketch out the conversation I can have with him today. I’ve never had to do that. I want to be prepared for the worst, though. I obviously have Caroline’s incident to talk about… and then there were the two strange men and the first time I’ve ever thought someone actually went into one of those steel buildings. That’s a good start.

  However, as I near the thickets by the road, I notice a man standing nearby wearing a long sleeve linen gray shirt with matching slacks. If he was standing any closer to the steel shed, he would have almost blended in. The crunching of my shoes on the road causes him to turn around. His outline of gray hair is encompassing the balding spot in the middle of his head. His thick eyebrows are arched high above his steel gray eyes. They were piercing through me, causing me to stop dead in my tracks.

  Slowly he bends over and picks up a metal hoe that is lying nearby. “Beautiful day, huh?” he asks nonchalantly.

  I nod, unsure of what to say or what to do. His voice… it sounds familiar. He might possibly be one of the men I heard talking yesterday.

  Taking note of the color around my wrist monitor, he states, “It doesn’t look like you work in the gardens so I’m assuming you are on your way to the Clinic?” He phrases it in a question but it’s obvious he’s not searching for an answer.

  “Yes,” I respond, regaining my voice. His long sleeves prevent me from seeing his own monitor color. “I just like to walk by the gardens on the way to see how everything is growing.” I lie.

  “Hmm. Interesting. Maybe they should have assigned you to tend the garden instead.” He tilts the hoe a little towards me. I can’t tell if that was a joke or if he was serious. He is intently studying my face. “Isn’t it still early for your shift?”

  I glance at my monitor. Most people are still in the Levels for another 15 minutes. I always escape early to get in time with Gavin but of course I can’t say this. “A friend of mine had an accident yesterday so she’s at the Clinic. I was hoping to spend time with her before my shift starts.” I never thought I would claim Caroline as a friend. But in this situation, it’s my only option.

  He cocks his head to the side and doesn’t say anything for a moment. I take advantage of the silence, shift my direction and walk with more of a purpose to the Clinic. After a few steps, I hear him call out, “enjoy your evening.” I look over my shoulder and give a small wave. He is leaning on the hoe, still watching me.

  I quicken my pace and as soon as I make it in the Clinic door, I look once more behind me before closing it to make sure he isn’t following. Who was that? What was he doing so close to those bushes? Out of anywhere he could have been, he was blocking my one exit to Gavin.

  I wish I knew of other means to get to Gavin. I don’t know my way around outside the walls of Impetus enough. I only know the spot that we have because of its proximity to the bushes I’m used to. If I try another exit and get loss, it could be dangerous. There’s no other way to contact him and I don’t want him to be worried about me. I need to figure this out.

  “There’s our hero!” I immediately snap out of my thoughts. Turning around, I see Brennan, Ethan, and Damian walking out from the back hallways, all with big grins on their faces.

  “Well, hi, you guys. Didn’t expect to see you all here.”

  “We got special permission to leave the Level early today to bring Caroline up to date on what she’s missing. They were going to send one of the subs but we volunteered instead.” Evan explains.

  “Oh that’s so righteous of you guys.” I laugh. “Nothing to do with getting out early, right?”

  “Give us a little more credit, Evangeline!” Damian bolsters. “We are the good ones who just care about our female counterparts.” He snorts loudly.

  “On that note,” Ethan interjects. “Seriously awesome job yesterday, Evangeline. We were all talking about how you just stepped up and took over.”

  “It’s the quiet ones that always surprise you! And you’ve got some guns!” Damian booms.

  Barely audible, Brennan mumbles, “Yeah, thank you. Pretty cool.”

  “Don’t expect to hear that from Caroline, though!”

  “Geez, Damian. I’m sure even Caroline heard you say that. You’re so loud!” Ethan turns to look back at me. “Don’t let her blame you. She needs to realize you helped her, you didn’t push her.”

  “Is that what she’s telling people?” I ask with widened eyes.

  Ethan puts a hand on my shoulder. “It doesn’t matter what she thinks or is saying. We were all there so we know what happened.”

  Damian leans over and whispers- although still quite loudly- in my ear. “She thinks you’re trying to get the Community Board to choose Ethan for you. Apparently her logic can only decipher him for her and no one else.” He then leans back and puffs out his chest, beating on them like an old black and white Tarzan film we once watched. “But then there’s me-e-e-e-e-e-e-e!”

  “And the whole community is now aware of it, thanks.” Brennan doesn’t speak much, but when he does, it’s usually dripping in sarcasm.

  I catch Ethan’s brown eyes and he has his head tilted to the side, smiling at me with perfectly white and straight teeth, dimples showing in both cheeks. His smile is definitely one of his best features. I can see why Jacqueline would want to choose him.

  Then a thought hits me. Does he think that I am trying to get the Board to choose him for me? I can’t have this rumor started.

  “Her reality is a bit skewed at times, I’d say.”

  “I never thought I would hear an unkind thing out of your mouth, Evangel
ine!” Damian bellows. “We keep seeing new sides of you!”

  Ethan chuckles. “You’re stretching it a bit, Damian. That wasn’t an unkind statement. Just the truth.” From the corner of my eye I catch Ethan still watching me with the same smile on his face.

  I have to switch the subject and get them out the door before Jacqueline comes in. “You guys heading out?”

  “We were going to try to get a ball game going.” Brennan says.

  “Ditch work and come join us, Evangeline.”

  Why does Ethan keep doing this? What’s his sudden interest with me? “Thanks for the offer but--”

  Brennan interrupts me. “Dude, you know she can’t bail on work. Let’s go now.” It’s the sternest I’ve ever heard Brennan speak. I have never been able to tell if he really was quiet or just secretly thought everyone else was below him.

  “Okay, okay. “Ethan retreats. “See you tomorrow.” He gives me a little wave of his hand.

  “Have fun with Caroline!” Damian laughs. “She has quite a strong bite!”

  The echoes of the slammed door die down and I’m left in complete silence. I survey the chairs spread throughout the waiting room with their purple suede cushioned lining that has been worn down over the years. I will have to stay in here a little while to make sure the guys are invested in their game before I try to sneak my way back to the Homes.

  I look at the clock. In about thirty minutes, the office will reopen for its two hours of evening appointments. It is one of my favorite times of the work days, the silence before the office officially reopens. The back end of the Clinic is open 24/7 with any overnight patients, the nurses that care for them, and any visitors the patients may have. Usually there’s a lot of hustle and bustle with bells constantly ringing as patients make demands.